The other day I was working out with my trainer at the gym when she presented me with a daunting task. She combined a series of "steps" like what you use for step aerobics until the "step" was about 14 inches and challenged to jump on top off it with both feet. A daunting task for several reasons!
I missed many times in a row trying to get on top of the step. I'd miss completely, or I'd get just one foot on top, or both feet would just brush the top. At first I thought I was missing due to fear, and I was a bit scared! Scared that I would fall off, fall to the ground, hit my back or something like that. But once my trainer paused and showed me exactly where I had to land, right in the middle of the step with both feet, I discovered the source of my problem. I was jumping with my eyes closed!
Once I focused on where I had to land and made sure to keep my eyes open I began to hit/stick the landing. Not each time, but it did happen! And I began to think of how it applies to life. That there are things I want to do, try, accomplish, etc but for whatever reason-fear, feeling overwhelmed, unsure, etc. I don't focus on it with my eyes open. I kind of wander through and hope that things will come together as I want them to.
Lately, when I set my eye on something, I next sit down and write down, step by step where it was I want to go, and how I want to get there. Trying my best to focus on just one thing at a time-not an easy task for me! But thinking it through, writing it down, focusing and keeping my eyes open has made a world of difference in seeing where I want to go and staying the course to get there.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
External Help
Recently I have been learning about the external help. There are a lot of things in the world that I would like to do, be better at, learn about, etc. But a combination of the brain injury (needing more to process the steps, lower frustration tolerance level) and life circumstances in general can make it more challenging to learn skills, master them, etc. This is the part where "external help" comes in. Some examples from my own life.
-Recently I started working at the gym I already go to with a personal trainer. I know this is not for everybody, but for me, I have LOVED it. It takes all the "guesswork" out of exercising and strength training. Recently, I ran in another 1/2 marathon (not my first) while I was happy about my finishing time, by far the best part was that I was not sore the next day!!!! I credit a lot of that to my trainer and the strength training exercises she showed me.
-Before I hired a trainer, I would ask friends who had knowledge of strength training to go with me to the gym and show me some strength training exercises I could do
-My mom going with me to buy plants for my garden and giving me tips along the way
-I have a sister who LOVES to organize. She has helped me with many an organizing project. Recently I was on my own to tackle my bedroom and closet but a lot of what she had patiently taught me was still in my head. The result! I love walking into a room and closet that is organized, I breathe a sigh of relief and smile
The point is, as you feel comfortable there are often times many people around you happy to help you, guide you, teach you. Often free of charge, too! Or you can always google "how to" There are some skills too, that are just not for me. No matter how many times I am taught by different people at different times I will likely not get up on waterskis or bowl anything over 86. So be flexible with your goals :)
But if there are such skills you would like to learn, to practice, I would like to encourage you to not be stopped by fear or lack of know how. Chances are there is someone or something out there that would be more than happy to teach/guide you. And when you have learned that skills, it feels fantastic!
Questions? Comments?
-Recently I started working at the gym I already go to with a personal trainer. I know this is not for everybody, but for me, I have LOVED it. It takes all the "guesswork" out of exercising and strength training. Recently, I ran in another 1/2 marathon (not my first) while I was happy about my finishing time, by far the best part was that I was not sore the next day!!!! I credit a lot of that to my trainer and the strength training exercises she showed me.
-Before I hired a trainer, I would ask friends who had knowledge of strength training to go with me to the gym and show me some strength training exercises I could do
-My mom going with me to buy plants for my garden and giving me tips along the way
-I have a sister who LOVES to organize. She has helped me with many an organizing project. Recently I was on my own to tackle my bedroom and closet but a lot of what she had patiently taught me was still in my head. The result! I love walking into a room and closet that is organized, I breathe a sigh of relief and smile
The point is, as you feel comfortable there are often times many people around you happy to help you, guide you, teach you. Often free of charge, too! Or you can always google "how to" There are some skills too, that are just not for me. No matter how many times I am taught by different people at different times I will likely not get up on waterskis or bowl anything over 86. So be flexible with your goals :)
But if there are such skills you would like to learn, to practice, I would like to encourage you to not be stopped by fear or lack of know how. Chances are there is someone or something out there that would be more than happy to teach/guide you. And when you have learned that skills, it feels fantastic!
Questions? Comments?
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Anxious Behavior
Recently I was visiting with a friend who told me about a family member of hers who was trying to kick the habit of "hoarding" The individual admitted that she was a "hoarder," buying things to quell her anxiety.
I believe that anxiety can influence a lot of different behaviors, particuarly those that we engage in during full-on anxiety. The behavior serves to distract from the anxiety-if you deny a problem, there is none! Or just simply engaging in behavior that is not overly constructive, but you do it to try and make the anxiety go away.
I found this conversation rather fascinating because it got me thinking about what I do in my bouts of anxiety. It made me want to know what behavior I engage in to deny the anxiety or try to make it go away.
I discovered that in my high moments of anxiety, I engage in technology/entertainment. I watch more consecutive tv shows, check my e-mail more often, spend more time on facebook, etc. There are other, perhaps more constructive behaviors I could engage in such as reading a book, exercising, cooking, etc. but I tend to choose the "technology/entertainment" because for me, it seems to require less "brain power" and more "distraction"
Email, tv, facebook, etc are great in moderation. The problem is that when my anxiety hits I tend to spend too much time engaged in those activities, just waiting for the anxiety to pass. One 1/2 hr tv turns into 2 hours, I'm rechecking facebook to see if any of my friends have updated their status.
And really, all those behaviors do is overstimulate my brain. Next time, I feel anxious, my goal is to pick up a book, cook something at the stove, put on running shoes, find a more constructive outlet for dealing wtih my anxiety, one that will leave me feeling less overstimulated in the end.
Questions??? Comments????
Thanks for reading!!!
I believe that anxiety can influence a lot of different behaviors, particuarly those that we engage in during full-on anxiety. The behavior serves to distract from the anxiety-if you deny a problem, there is none! Or just simply engaging in behavior that is not overly constructive, but you do it to try and make the anxiety go away.
I found this conversation rather fascinating because it got me thinking about what I do in my bouts of anxiety. It made me want to know what behavior I engage in to deny the anxiety or try to make it go away.
I discovered that in my high moments of anxiety, I engage in technology/entertainment. I watch more consecutive tv shows, check my e-mail more often, spend more time on facebook, etc. There are other, perhaps more constructive behaviors I could engage in such as reading a book, exercising, cooking, etc. but I tend to choose the "technology/entertainment" because for me, it seems to require less "brain power" and more "distraction"
Email, tv, facebook, etc are great in moderation. The problem is that when my anxiety hits I tend to spend too much time engaged in those activities, just waiting for the anxiety to pass. One 1/2 hr tv turns into 2 hours, I'm rechecking facebook to see if any of my friends have updated their status.
And really, all those behaviors do is overstimulate my brain. Next time, I feel anxious, my goal is to pick up a book, cook something at the stove, put on running shoes, find a more constructive outlet for dealing wtih my anxiety, one that will leave me feeling less overstimulated in the end.
Questions??? Comments????
Thanks for reading!!!
One Important Question
When facing anxiety, less desirable situations-I am learning to ask myself One Important Question. "What is the worst that could happen?" When I take time to stop, think and try to create a logical answer, I usually discover that "the worst" really isn't so bad, my fears are somewhat unfounded, etc. Asking myself, "What's the worst that could happen,?" is a question that give me perspective and keeps me grounded.
Make it Fun!
Though I have yet to be a parent, I am an educator by trade and have lived through being a child with a disability. During the summer, I tutor twins who sustained brain injuries (sadly, due to abuse) I have a main rule for myself during tutoring sessions.
For whatever I am teaching-math, reading, science, etc. "Make it FUN! Make it a game!" If it's not fun, I might as well be wasting my time. None of us really enjoy learning via drill/repetition, and even if I may get the point across once, if it wasn't engaging or appealing to them, it is much less likely to stick with them.
I believe that making learning fun is crucial for a child with a brain injury because there is so much that does need to be taught. For a child with a disability, they are much less likely to pick up on cues, learn something just by observing it once, be able to apply it naturally to other concepts/generalize the concept learned. For those reasons, more learning is usually needed so if it can be taught in a fun, engaging way, so much the better!
For whatever I am teaching-math, reading, science, etc. "Make it FUN! Make it a game!" If it's not fun, I might as well be wasting my time. None of us really enjoy learning via drill/repetition, and even if I may get the point across once, if it wasn't engaging or appealing to them, it is much less likely to stick with them.
I believe that making learning fun is crucial for a child with a brain injury because there is so much that does need to be taught. For a child with a disability, they are much less likely to pick up on cues, learn something just by observing it once, be able to apply it naturally to other concepts/generalize the concept learned. For those reasons, more learning is usually needed so if it can be taught in a fun, engaging way, so much the better!
Give Yourself a Pep Talk
Recently, I celebrated the 4th of July holiday by doing an 8 mile run with a good friend! It may sound crazy to some, I know.... 8 miles was longer than I have run in sometime and I cannot say that all moments were "fun" But we made it through. Together.
My friend set the pace, I followed her, and I gave us the pep talks along the way. Things like "I will NOT throw up here, (eating a cookie before a run, BAD idea) c'mon legs-don't fail us now, it's downhill up ahead-we love downhill!"
As cheesy as those sound(ed) they totally worked! We finished the 8 mile run with smiles, dumped bottles of water over our heads (it was HOT) and felt very accomplished!
I find giving myself "pep talks" is very beneficial as well! Reminding myself of things that I maybe don't want to do, but I know I can do. Tell myself that a short, unpleasant experience will be followed by something much more rewarding. And keep telling myself those things enough that I soon believe it!
My friend set the pace, I followed her, and I gave us the pep talks along the way. Things like "I will NOT throw up here, (eating a cookie before a run, BAD idea) c'mon legs-don't fail us now, it's downhill up ahead-we love downhill!"
As cheesy as those sound(ed) they totally worked! We finished the 8 mile run with smiles, dumped bottles of water over our heads (it was HOT) and felt very accomplished!
I find giving myself "pep talks" is very beneficial as well! Reminding myself of things that I maybe don't want to do, but I know I can do. Tell myself that a short, unpleasant experience will be followed by something much more rewarding. And keep telling myself those things enough that I soon believe it!
It's Not All About Me!!!!
As mentioned in a previous post, I tend to have guilt involving other people and their feelings. Working on kicking that habit! Anyway....
For example, when someone close to me, a good friend, roommate, sibling, etc. is out of sorts, seems upset around me, etc. my thoughts tend to jump to what I did/could have done to upset that individual. What do I ned to change?
However, my sister taught me an impt lesson regarding this type of scenario. It's not all about me! When my focus is on "what did I do, how did I affect the other person," I'm not necessarily concerned about them or trying to help them. I'm trying to make sure I stay on their "good side" Recently, I had an experience where things seemed out of sorts with someone close to me. Out of the blue, unusual kind of behavior for this friend. Trying to heed my sister's advice, I laid low, just let things pass and within 48 hrs things were back to normal!
So,when having anxiety about relationships remember this, "It's not all about you!" Remembering this has certainly worked for me!
For example, when someone close to me, a good friend, roommate, sibling, etc. is out of sorts, seems upset around me, etc. my thoughts tend to jump to what I did/could have done to upset that individual. What do I ned to change?
However, my sister taught me an impt lesson regarding this type of scenario. It's not all about me! When my focus is on "what did I do, how did I affect the other person," I'm not necessarily concerned about them or trying to help them. I'm trying to make sure I stay on their "good side" Recently, I had an experience where things seemed out of sorts with someone close to me. Out of the blue, unusual kind of behavior for this friend. Trying to heed my sister's advice, I laid low, just let things pass and within 48 hrs things were back to normal!
So,when having anxiety about relationships remember this, "It's not all about you!" Remembering this has certainly worked for me!
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