Dreams Come True- A Lesson in Resilience

So, to pick up where the last blog left off..... Although I had a BS degree, I had no teaching license, making it very difficult to get a decent paying job. So I ended up going back to school for my license. I never planned to go back to school, I was motivated mostly out of necessity...... I also needed a job to pay for school so I was fortunate to find a job as an aide in special education classroom working with students grades 4-6. I enjoyed it and ultimately learned a lot, but my skills were not where they needed to be by the end of the year and I learned that the school would not be renewing my contract.



Much like with student teaching, this was an unexpected blow to me. It felt like I had "failed" again, (wasn't one time enough?) and I wanted to quit. It did not seem fair at all that I was making a new start again. I had a sense of depression that I had not known before; where I didn't really care about eating, my friends, doing things I enjoyed. I wanted to care about those things, I just couldn't quite do it. Nighttime was the hardest because I felt like, "Well, I made it through this day but when I go to bed then tomorrow begins and then what????"



There were things that helped,though. I got encouragement from a good friend to get some exercise and though exercise was the last thing I wanted to do at the time (seriously) eventually I saw logic and a long walk really did help! Babysitting my sister's 2 children was also effective because it gave me something to do, a need to fill, and something that I really wanted to do.



Coincidentally, the same day I lost my job I ran into a friend who informed that they were hiring at her work, an education setting different from a public school setting. Again, a step in resiliency was needed. A public school setting had been my "dream" but dreams change, and ultimately this one was for the best! This was the setting where I am currently employed but that one almost didn't pan out either.... Thankfully, I learned some important lessons along the way that I am still applying today!