For me, one of the effects of living with a brain injury is that I am more easily overwhelmed and overstimulated. As such I like to, need to take breaks. (the rationale for taking breaks varies) More importantly, I like to know "when" the break is coming. Sometimes I get anxious if I don't when there will be a "break," an "out," etc.
The situations vary. For example, in the middle of the workday, I can excuse myself to get a drink, a bathroom break, but I can't just say, "I'm done now,"and leave my assistant and students to fend for themselves. I understand that those kind of situations are just part of life! And I need to adapt to it the best I can.
But there are times when a break is an option, and I have learned some strategies that have made that break transition easier. I'll use the example of spending the holidays at home with my parents (their home, not mine). Since it is a break from my work, my main goal tends to be relaxation. Sleep in, read, chill, watch tv, etc. However, sometimes my Mom (or my Dad) needs my help with things around the house or other to-do holiday tasks. And that's OK! I like to help. But I also like to know about breaks, what the schedule for the day will roughly look like.
And so, I ask. I ask my Mom what she thinks she might need my help with that day and when she thinks she might need it. I tell her the things I want to get done that day and so we can work it out for both of us. I'm more relaxed, I feel like I know more about what I am getting into and I know what I have to look forward to. I also know that it's less likely that I will have just fallen asleep and suddenly something else comes up.
Again, this does not apply to all scenarios in life. But I have found that when there is some flexibility, asking can go a long way!
Your thoughts????
Showing posts with label Behavior. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Behavior. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
Behavior Expectations
The day I went back to work after the Holiday break I was giving myself a pep talk-that my student would be wound up, might forget what to do, etc. Basically that it would be a rough couple of days but get through it. Well, I was pleasantly surprised that I had a great week with my preschoolers-and I believe I know a big part of the reason why!
I took a lot of time those first few days to teach and reteach behavior expectations. To remind them how we sit at the "circle" how we walk down the halls with hands to ourselves (more or less) I told them, I modeled, we practiced, etc. Pictures/photos are also an effective teaching tool! I was reminded that children want to do what's expected of them, the key is do they know and understand what is expected of them??? And equally impt, can they perform that behavior?
As a child, I remember going on outings such as plays, concerts, etc and afterwards asking my Mom, "Was I good? Was I good????" I wanted very much to achieve "being good" and wanted to know what "good" looked like and acted like.
As an adult I can still find myself wanting to perform the desired behavior. One of the biggest challenges for me is when the expectations are much looser! I know that might not make sense, isn't it easier when there's less expectations? But in my case, there's less of a guide to follow. And for many years, even now at times, behavior expectations/being good has kind of been "my thing," what I relied on to be OK, to do a good job. Now I have to rely on myself to determine what I want, what's impt to me, and then try to mesh it with the expectations that are present, limited or not.
And as I further learn and explore this idea, one day at a time.....
Have you experienced similar feelings? What was your experience like? Your questions and comments are welcome!
I took a lot of time those first few days to teach and reteach behavior expectations. To remind them how we sit at the "circle" how we walk down the halls with hands to ourselves (more or less) I told them, I modeled, we practiced, etc. Pictures/photos are also an effective teaching tool! I was reminded that children want to do what's expected of them, the key is do they know and understand what is expected of them??? And equally impt, can they perform that behavior?
As a child, I remember going on outings such as plays, concerts, etc and afterwards asking my Mom, "Was I good? Was I good????" I wanted very much to achieve "being good" and wanted to know what "good" looked like and acted like.
As an adult I can still find myself wanting to perform the desired behavior. One of the biggest challenges for me is when the expectations are much looser! I know that might not make sense, isn't it easier when there's less expectations? But in my case, there's less of a guide to follow. And for many years, even now at times, behavior expectations/being good has kind of been "my thing," what I relied on to be OK, to do a good job. Now I have to rely on myself to determine what I want, what's impt to me, and then try to mesh it with the expectations that are present, limited or not.
And as I further learn and explore this idea, one day at a time.....
Have you experienced similar feelings? What was your experience like? Your questions and comments are welcome!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Slow and Steady
Last month, I participated in my 3rd annual sightseeing roadtrip and 10k race. My goal for the race was 54 minutes, besting my PR of 58:05 (though I was very happy with my end time of 57 minutes). A couple of friends came along for the trip, one of them just having completed amazing weight loss and had just participated in her first race a 5k, a week prior. Whereas I have been running for going on 3 years and this was my 6th 10k. (It's my ego coming out.....)
I was thrilled for her success with a time of 1:04:7, but I admit I was surprised, particularly when she said she hadn't needed to stop the whole race. (I didn't stop much, but I did stop occassionally) Intrigued by her success, I asked her how she did it. "Slow and steady," was her response.
A couple weeks later, I decided I wanted to do my 2nd 1/2 marathon in April and really train/prepare for it this time. The first step: practice running slower. It seems kind of counterproductive for race training. After all the goal isn't usually to see how slow you can finish! I had to force myself to maintain a slow pace, but the more I stuck with it, I discovered some things. I felt a lot better running slower, I could run for much longer without needing to stop and most importantly, I was having more fun doing it!!!!
How does this apply to life? All brain injuy effects are not equal, but a definite side effect for me is that I tend to have a habit of "barreling through life" not taking enough time to slow down, stop, think, and most importantly appreciate where I am instead of just thinking, "what's next???" As I discovered with running, the more I slow down in life, my choices and emotions are steadier and there is more fun to be had!
Perhaps the most important point is that I have gone from gunning for a 10 minute mile to embracing a 12 minute mile. And I am completely OK with that.
Think about it......
I was thrilled for her success with a time of 1:04:7, but I admit I was surprised, particularly when she said she hadn't needed to stop the whole race. (I didn't stop much, but I did stop occassionally) Intrigued by her success, I asked her how she did it. "Slow and steady," was her response.
A couple weeks later, I decided I wanted to do my 2nd 1/2 marathon in April and really train/prepare for it this time. The first step: practice running slower. It seems kind of counterproductive for race training. After all the goal isn't usually to see how slow you can finish! I had to force myself to maintain a slow pace, but the more I stuck with it, I discovered some things. I felt a lot better running slower, I could run for much longer without needing to stop and most importantly, I was having more fun doing it!!!!
How does this apply to life? All brain injuy effects are not equal, but a definite side effect for me is that I tend to have a habit of "barreling through life" not taking enough time to slow down, stop, think, and most importantly appreciate where I am instead of just thinking, "what's next???" As I discovered with running, the more I slow down in life, my choices and emotions are steadier and there is more fun to be had!
Perhaps the most important point is that I have gone from gunning for a 10 minute mile to embracing a 12 minute mile. And I am completely OK with that.
Think about it......
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