Clutter is one of the fastest things to overwhelm me, throw me off, etc. Not that I can't function in clutter, but it throws me off, distracts me and makes it harder to focus on what I need to be doing..... For real. Clutter can come in different forms, too much "stuff" in a given place, like a closet, clothes on the floor, dishes in the sink, stacks of papers, etc.
Here's a few tips I have found to deal with the "consequences of clutter"
-Keep the closet door closed. I have a large walk in closet and though it stays organized (for the most part) it's full of "stuff" I have found that if I keep the door closed unless I need to go in the closet, it helps!
-Give things away- to friends, family, charities, thrift stores, etc. Purging items is helpful, but I feel better about giving it away if I know it's helping to fullfill a need
-Clean up my apt before I go to bed. Put away random items in the living room, load the dishwasher, fold clothes from the dryer, hang up clothes I wore that day, etc. It may sound like a lot, but I find that if I just get in and get it done, it's worth it and it gets done fast! I sleep better knowing that it's done, and then I wake up more relaxed in the morning without thinking/seeing what I need to do before I leave for work.
-Make things easy to put away. Cleaning up after myself is half the battle! But the easier it is to put it away, the more likely I am to do it, the better I feel!
-Think before I buy. Plan and buy only groceries I need (too much food makes me feel overwhelmed and somewhat anxious-using it up before it goes bad) Think what "pleasure" items I buy (books, clothes, shoes, etc) and do I have space for it? For example, if there's not room for another pair of shoes on my shoe rack, I need to consider donating a pair to charity.
Your thoughts? What has helped YOU to control the clutter? Has it been a challenge for you, as well? Your thoughts are welcome and encouraged!!!!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
It's All Right to Cry
The lyrics to one of my favorite songs from "Sesame St"
"It's all right to cry,
Crying gets the sad out of you.
It's all right to cry,
It might make you feel better."
I have recently learned through work trainings, books, life experience, etc that as a culture, crying isn't necessarily "welcome," particularly with small children. That the goal tends to be "stop crying." Granted if the child is crying so hard that he or she can't breathe, redirection is likely encouraged! If not, it's all right to cry!!!!
However, I'm learning a new direction other than getting the child to "stop crying." I'm learning to encourage crying, or at least understand why they are crying! Sometimes the reason for crying can surprise you..... A couple of examples.
A child in my class had a hard morning-waiting for turn with a toy he desperately wanted, falling down outside, etc. So when it came time for lunch, and he was waiting in line for his colored lunch tray, he didn't get the color he wanted, the tears started to come. I knew that he didn't care that much about the color tray he got, it was just one more disappointment. I took him out in the hallway, gave him a hug and simply said, "You've had a hard day, haven't you?" We talked for just a minute or two, then he was ready to go back to lunch get his tray, eat lunch, etc.
A young girl fell down outside and scraped her hand. Truthfully, the scrape was very minor from a factual standpoint. From an emotional standpoint though, the scrape was a lot worse. She begged for a bandaid yet every time I got near her hand with a bandaid, she'd cry and scream. I suggested she close her eyes, she said, "No, because I'll still feel it!!!!" I gently embraced her, told her I knew she was scared, that she thought it would hurt, and especially that it was Ok to be scared. That she didn't need to have a bandaid. Feeling understood she stopped crying a couple minutes later, and let me put the bandaid on. I asked her, "Do you want to cry some more? It's OK, if you need to." She smiled, said no, and went off to play.
In conclusion, it's all right to cry! It's all right to encourage crying. Remember that the cause for tears may often be just the tip of frustrations that can seem huge to a child. Acknowledge how they feel.
These tips work for adults as well!!!!
"It's all right to cry,
Crying gets the sad out of you.
It's all right to cry,
It might make you feel better."
I have recently learned through work trainings, books, life experience, etc that as a culture, crying isn't necessarily "welcome," particularly with small children. That the goal tends to be "stop crying." Granted if the child is crying so hard that he or she can't breathe, redirection is likely encouraged! If not, it's all right to cry!!!!
However, I'm learning a new direction other than getting the child to "stop crying." I'm learning to encourage crying, or at least understand why they are crying! Sometimes the reason for crying can surprise you..... A couple of examples.
A child in my class had a hard morning-waiting for turn with a toy he desperately wanted, falling down outside, etc. So when it came time for lunch, and he was waiting in line for his colored lunch tray, he didn't get the color he wanted, the tears started to come. I knew that he didn't care that much about the color tray he got, it was just one more disappointment. I took him out in the hallway, gave him a hug and simply said, "You've had a hard day, haven't you?" We talked for just a minute or two, then he was ready to go back to lunch get his tray, eat lunch, etc.
A young girl fell down outside and scraped her hand. Truthfully, the scrape was very minor from a factual standpoint. From an emotional standpoint though, the scrape was a lot worse. She begged for a bandaid yet every time I got near her hand with a bandaid, she'd cry and scream. I suggested she close her eyes, she said, "No, because I'll still feel it!!!!" I gently embraced her, told her I knew she was scared, that she thought it would hurt, and especially that it was Ok to be scared. That she didn't need to have a bandaid. Feeling understood she stopped crying a couple minutes later, and let me put the bandaid on. I asked her, "Do you want to cry some more? It's OK, if you need to." She smiled, said no, and went off to play.
In conclusion, it's all right to cry! It's all right to encourage crying. Remember that the cause for tears may often be just the tip of frustrations that can seem huge to a child. Acknowledge how they feel.
These tips work for adults as well!!!!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Brighter In the Morning
"Things will seem brighter in the morning." I don't know/remember when I first heard/read this statement, and it doesn't really matter. But.....in the midst of some of the most (till now-hence the absence of blogging) "challenging" times in my life I find myself repeating this to myself more and more. Reminding myself that it's usually not worth distressing about/trying to solve until morning because SO much of the time, things truly do seem, "Brighter in the Morning."
Saturday, November 20, 2010
My Advice to Another with a Brain Injury
The other day as I was walking to work, I was thinking, "If were to meet another person with a brain injury and on the off-chance that they asked me for advice/what had helped me the most, what would I tell them?" I came up with 3 things, and actually, they all complement each other.
#1: Get a good night sleep, consistently. Granted, this is generally NOT easy for someone with a brain injury to accomplish, but when it can be done it pays enormous dividends! On days when I didn't sleep well, I wake up tired, and somewhat slump through the day thinking, "How soon can I go to bed tonight?' Days when I did sleep well, I'm happier and I get more done.
#2: Get regular exercise/physical activity. Regular exercise benefits my physical and mental health and well-being. I look better, I have mor energy, I'm happier with how I look. I'm less stressed and frustrated when I can release my emotions through exercise. Most importantly, I sleep SO much better on nights when I exercised during the day. I sleep deeper and longer.
#3: Being grateful especially for the small things in life. On my other blog, I started doing a post every day of things I was grateful for that day and it has made a huge difference for me. There are parts of life that I may wish were different, less challenging, etc but when I look back on all the good from that day, I find myself thinking, "How can I be upset with so much good in my life?"
How to do these things- as I don't believe any of them are easy to do.......
1-develop a sleep routine that works for you and stick to it. Get exercise/activity during the day
2-Find some exercise/activity that you enjoy doing. On days when life is full, make it a game to see how much time you can make for exercise that day. Save a favorite show/song to watch/listen to while you exercise.
3-Make/keep a list of all that you are grateful for so you don't forget! Look for the good. If you look for it, you'll find it!
#1: Get a good night sleep, consistently. Granted, this is generally NOT easy for someone with a brain injury to accomplish, but when it can be done it pays enormous dividends! On days when I didn't sleep well, I wake up tired, and somewhat slump through the day thinking, "How soon can I go to bed tonight?' Days when I did sleep well, I'm happier and I get more done.
#2: Get regular exercise/physical activity. Regular exercise benefits my physical and mental health and well-being. I look better, I have mor energy, I'm happier with how I look. I'm less stressed and frustrated when I can release my emotions through exercise. Most importantly, I sleep SO much better on nights when I exercised during the day. I sleep deeper and longer.
#3: Being grateful especially for the small things in life. On my other blog, I started doing a post every day of things I was grateful for that day and it has made a huge difference for me. There are parts of life that I may wish were different, less challenging, etc but when I look back on all the good from that day, I find myself thinking, "How can I be upset with so much good in my life?"
How to do these things- as I don't believe any of them are easy to do.......
1-develop a sleep routine that works for you and stick to it. Get exercise/activity during the day
2-Find some exercise/activity that you enjoy doing. On days when life is full, make it a game to see how much time you can make for exercise that day. Save a favorite show/song to watch/listen to while you exercise.
3-Make/keep a list of all that you are grateful for so you don't forget! Look for the good. If you look for it, you'll find it!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Rembering the Good Things- A Useful Strategy
When my emotions have been up and down, (as they have been of late) repeatedly a strategy has been of use to me. Remembering the good things/things I am grateful for and then making a record of it. For me, it has been very important to have a record of it because otherwise I forget, and when there IS a record, I can look back on it/read it during the more trying times. It can be recorded in a notebook, journal, blog, camera/picture, etc. Whatever is easiest for you.
It has also been helpful because it helps me put things in perspective- was one event, disagreement, awkward moment, etc really as important with all the other good things going on around it? It reminds me to let stuff go and look at the bigger picture (NOTE: that is not to say that I have mastered the art of "letting go" of things. I haven't. But it helps!)
It also makes me appreciate the small things that much more. The other night I had dinner at my parents house and my Mom made cheese quesadillas for dinner (I helped). It was good but after writing it down, remembering how I felt being with my family, how good the food was, I appreciated it that much more!
This is not just a strategy for the sunny days, but for ANY day, challenging or not. On the days when I want to quit, scream, etc. I try to make being grateful into a "game" How many things can I find to be grateful for today- often I can find a lot, if I choose to look for it!
Not to make light of life's heartbreaks, challenges, disappointments, etc. Trust me. I have been there. But while we can't choose everything in life, we can choose how we feel. And choosing to feel grateful and appreciative has helped me a LOT.
Live. Laugh. Love. Learn. And then make a record of it!
It has also been helpful because it helps me put things in perspective- was one event, disagreement, awkward moment, etc really as important with all the other good things going on around it? It reminds me to let stuff go and look at the bigger picture (NOTE: that is not to say that I have mastered the art of "letting go" of things. I haven't. But it helps!)
It also makes me appreciate the small things that much more. The other night I had dinner at my parents house and my Mom made cheese quesadillas for dinner (I helped). It was good but after writing it down, remembering how I felt being with my family, how good the food was, I appreciated it that much more!
This is not just a strategy for the sunny days, but for ANY day, challenging or not. On the days when I want to quit, scream, etc. I try to make being grateful into a "game" How many things can I find to be grateful for today- often I can find a lot, if I choose to look for it!
Not to make light of life's heartbreaks, challenges, disappointments, etc. Trust me. I have been there. But while we can't choose everything in life, we can choose how we feel. And choosing to feel grateful and appreciative has helped me a LOT.
Live. Laugh. Love. Learn. And then make a record of it!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Questions and Answers
Here's a sampling of questions I have been asked over the years regarding my brain injury....
Why were you not diagnosed until you 21?
As has been previously mentioned, the brain injury occurred between 0-2 years of age, the diagnosis not until age 21. There are two main reasons for that (1)Brain injury/special education was not as recognized/respected as it is today. My Mom took me to the dr many times between 0-5 yrs but there was always an explanation for my behavior. I was the baby of the family, I was just shy, I would catch up, etc. (2) I didn't want "help" My parents got me involved in resource classes, math tutors, speech therapy, etc. but I fought all of it. I already struggled socially and didn't want to feel "different" any more than I already did and I didn't want to be "fixed". When I did finally find a dr and treatment center (Dr Nilsson at the Neurodevelopment Center) I felt ready because I was older and more mature but also because I felt the focus was on the "Claire the person" and not on "fixing Claire."
What was your reaction to the diagnosis?
My initial reaction was RELIEF!!! I had been carrying around a LOT of guilt for many years. Since I didn't know the "logic" for my behavior, I assumed that if I just tried harder I wouldn't have challenges and so the challenges were mainly because I just wasn't trying hard enough. Not true. My 2nd thought was that if I had made it 21 years with this challenge, I wanted to use my experiences to help other people- the main reason why I pursued special education.
Do you wish you had been diagnosed sooner?
Honestly, yes. Particularly regarding high school and beginning college experiences I wish I had known more then about how to get along in social setting and just developing basic life skills. BUT because I didn't know I had challenges, I thought I could do anything! And the good things that have happened because of it far outweigh "what might have been" So I don't dwell on it, I just try to celebrate what I do know.
What has been the most challenging and the most helpful?
The most challenging has been dealing with "neurogenic irritability"- having difficulty controlling my emotions at times, having a lower threshold for stress and anxiety, and ultimately the ways that these have effected my life. The most helpful medically wise has been sessions of Neurofeedback that have retrained my brain waves and ultimately helped to function more smoothly. The biggest help emotionally/people wise: People who genuinely have listened to me when I share my challenges and triumphs and tried to understand the "logic" of my behavior.
If there are any more questions you would like to ask me- please feel free to leave them in the comments section! Your feedback helps to improve the blog. Thanks!!!
Why were you not diagnosed until you 21?
As has been previously mentioned, the brain injury occurred between 0-2 years of age, the diagnosis not until age 21. There are two main reasons for that (1)Brain injury/special education was not as recognized/respected as it is today. My Mom took me to the dr many times between 0-5 yrs but there was always an explanation for my behavior. I was the baby of the family, I was just shy, I would catch up, etc. (2) I didn't want "help" My parents got me involved in resource classes, math tutors, speech therapy, etc. but I fought all of it. I already struggled socially and didn't want to feel "different" any more than I already did and I didn't want to be "fixed". When I did finally find a dr and treatment center (Dr Nilsson at the Neurodevelopment Center) I felt ready because I was older and more mature but also because I felt the focus was on the "Claire the person" and not on "fixing Claire."
What was your reaction to the diagnosis?
My initial reaction was RELIEF!!! I had been carrying around a LOT of guilt for many years. Since I didn't know the "logic" for my behavior, I assumed that if I just tried harder I wouldn't have challenges and so the challenges were mainly because I just wasn't trying hard enough. Not true. My 2nd thought was that if I had made it 21 years with this challenge, I wanted to use my experiences to help other people- the main reason why I pursued special education.
Do you wish you had been diagnosed sooner?
Honestly, yes. Particularly regarding high school and beginning college experiences I wish I had known more then about how to get along in social setting and just developing basic life skills. BUT because I didn't know I had challenges, I thought I could do anything! And the good things that have happened because of it far outweigh "what might have been" So I don't dwell on it, I just try to celebrate what I do know.
What has been the most challenging and the most helpful?
The most challenging has been dealing with "neurogenic irritability"- having difficulty controlling my emotions at times, having a lower threshold for stress and anxiety, and ultimately the ways that these have effected my life. The most helpful medically wise has been sessions of Neurofeedback that have retrained my brain waves and ultimately helped to function more smoothly. The biggest help emotionally/people wise: People who genuinely have listened to me when I share my challenges and triumphs and tried to understand the "logic" of my behavior.
If there are any more questions you would like to ask me- please feel free to leave them in the comments section! Your feedback helps to improve the blog. Thanks!!!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Laughing at Myself
Recently I relearned the importance of being able to laugh at oneself. I am by no means an expert at this- I have habits of getting embarrassed to easily and then holdig on to it longer than is necessary. BUT the times when I can laugh at myself, I feel more spring in my step, I smile more because I have something funny to laugh about and it gives me new eyes/perspective for a situation.
As an example of something to laugh about it, here is one of recent "adventures"..... Enjoy a good laugh at my expense, I don't mind!!!
THIS is Why I don't make Jello
I have made jello approximately 3 times in the past 10 years. So when I recently signed up to bring a jello salad to a church function, I tried to seek out info from more experienced jello makers. But I couldn't reach my Mom or sisters to ask for advice. I had to go it alone.
All went pretty well until the 2 minute boiling period when the ruby red liquid spilled onto the burner and stovetop. (My mom told me later that she doesn't let it keep boiling, she just takes it off the stove and stirs. And well..... now I know....) However the boiling water/jello mix caused smoke which caused the smoke alarm to go off for the first time. Yes, the first time.
I did get the jello poured in the dripper pan but not without spilling more on the white countertops. I put in the fridge and busied myself with other tasks when the fire alarm went off. Again. I thought, "What the.....?" Then I turned around and saw 4-5 inch flames shooting from the stovetop burner.
I had forgotten to turn off the burner so the spilled liquid had dried in lumps and were now flaming. Nice. I poured baking soda and put out the fire. (Turns out baking soda really does work to put out a fire!) Opened doors, windows and turned on fans. Still have not cleaned off the burner because of the intense mess that I made. Maybe if I stall long enough it'll clean itself???
Was this my finest hour? Not necessarily, but it has quickly become a favorite story about myself because as embarrassing as it may be, WHO makes jello and consecutively starts a fire??? So even though laughing at yourself may not come naturally, do it anyway. It pays off!!!
What recent life adventures can YOU find to laugh about?
As an example of something to laugh about it, here is one of recent "adventures"..... Enjoy a good laugh at my expense, I don't mind!!!
THIS is Why I don't make Jello
I have made jello approximately 3 times in the past 10 years. So when I recently signed up to bring a jello salad to a church function, I tried to seek out info from more experienced jello makers. But I couldn't reach my Mom or sisters to ask for advice. I had to go it alone.
All went pretty well until the 2 minute boiling period when the ruby red liquid spilled onto the burner and stovetop. (My mom told me later that she doesn't let it keep boiling, she just takes it off the stove and stirs. And well..... now I know....) However the boiling water/jello mix caused smoke which caused the smoke alarm to go off for the first time. Yes, the first time.
I did get the jello poured in the dripper pan but not without spilling more on the white countertops. I put in the fridge and busied myself with other tasks when the fire alarm went off. Again. I thought, "What the.....?" Then I turned around and saw 4-5 inch flames shooting from the stovetop burner.
I had forgotten to turn off the burner so the spilled liquid had dried in lumps and were now flaming. Nice. I poured baking soda and put out the fire. (Turns out baking soda really does work to put out a fire!) Opened doors, windows and turned on fans. Still have not cleaned off the burner because of the intense mess that I made. Maybe if I stall long enough it'll clean itself???
Was this my finest hour? Not necessarily, but it has quickly become a favorite story about myself because as embarrassing as it may be, WHO makes jello and consecutively starts a fire??? So even though laughing at yourself may not come naturally, do it anyway. It pays off!!!
What recent life adventures can YOU find to laugh about?
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