Friends

When you have a brain injury between 0-2 years old, like me, making friends can be really hard! Here are some of the reasons why:

• Reading social cues-knowing the give and take of conversation. When it's your turn to talk, when it's your turn to listen. Recognizing that someone's body language or change in their tone of voice, means that it's not a good time-without them directly saying it. A LOT for the brain to process in a short amount of time
• Sometimes be causes friends are harder to come by, you might let yourself my used by someone, have them take advantage of your kindness because it's nice to be wanted and needed
• Anxiety!!! And when anxiety hits, it's more difficult to think clearly, process, take the action you want to take

How you can help to be a good friend-this is for me as much as anyone else, I have work to do, too!

• Use verbal cues and reassurance. Tell team directly that you do want to talk with them and you will, later but now is not a good time because....
• Allow them to be involved just like with anyone else. Everyone wants to feel a part of something!
• Support their interests. When you can, attend a game, concert, etc.
• Model appropriate social behavior and cues for them. Be a classy friend. 
• Be patient and try to understand where they are coming from, how their brain is processing and responding, etc.

And a huge thank you to all that are sincere friends, who make me a better person when I am around them.

Power of an Opportunity

Growing up, not yet knowing about the brain injury, a lot of things were hard for me. I struggled with hand-eye coordination so I couldn't sink a free-throw or advance a lot in playing violin or piano, even though I tried and I wanted to.  Making friends was hard because of reading social cues, figuring out the give and take, etc.

With Thanksgiving approaching, a memory..... Growing up, one of my parents neighbors started a children's choir, still going today. My siblings and I all sang in the choir at one time or another.  It's a prominent audition choir, winning awards, touring, recording CDs, etc. Last November my sister ran into the director at the music store. (He's been a family friend for many years). He's a bachelor so she invited him to our house for Thanskgiving and it was a great time.

It wasn't until much later that I realized what a blessing that choir was to me from age 8-16. It wasn't perfect; there were 2 choirs and it took me several years to qualify be in the more advanced choir and that's OK. The important thing was it gave me something to be GOOD at when so many other things were so hard for me. It gave me tremendous opportunities that I wouldn't have had otherwise and at the risk of being dramatic, I don't know where I would have been then or now, without it. I was fortunate that the director is still around so I could tell him about it.

For those with special needs, an opportunity is HUGE. Apparent or not, they are aware of what's going on, they have needs, wants, desires to be accepted, to feel successful, feel good about themselves. If you are in the position to provide an opportunity, do it. If you have been the recipient of an opportunity, special needs or not, thank someone. Every bit of good counts!!!!