My Story of Living With a Brain Injury

I am young adult living with the trials and triumphs as a result of a brain injury. This is my story.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Not Enough Frosting-An Analogy in Perfectionism

Several years ago I was having dinner with friends I hadn't seen in awhile and I was asked to bring a desert for the dinner. I had a new recipe for a square layer cake I wanted to try. The cake turned out beautifully and deliciously, but then it came time to frost the cake, and I only had enough frosting for three sides.......

Panicked (a non-fully frosted cake isnt' perfect after all!!!!) I tried calling the neighbors in my apt complex to see if they had frosting, tried to make my own chocolate frosting, steal frosting from the other layers, etc. None of these worked and the harder I tried to "fix" the cake, the worse it looked and the more frustrated I got. Finally, I wrapped the whole thing in foil and put in the fridge hoping this would help me to just "leave it alone."

At some point in time, I did start thinking, "Does this really matter???" No, not really. Yes, the cake wouldn't be "perfect" but my friends would still be glad to see me! Would they judge me by my dessert? No, they would just be glad that I brought a dessert of some kind.

There are definitely times and situations that "do matter" in life. For example, doing your taxes. But much like I had to ask myself while trying to finish frosting a cake, "Does this really matter???" The majority of the time, it doesn't! I try to remind to look at the bigger picture.

For example, I generally don't stress about the "perfect gift" for someone- the more important picture is that I got them a gift, I did put time, thought and energy into it and so if they don't like it, too bad for them! Like with the cake, the more important picture was being with my friends and supplying some form of dessert.

So, when faced with a stressful situation remember to ask yourself, does this really matter???? You might find yourself surprised at the answer!

Recognize and Celebrate Your Strengths

Today I have been thinking about the importance of recognizing and celebrating your strengths. Especially those that may seem smaller, less significant, etc. It's all about what you CAN do.
The same adage is true for me, as well! As an example and to perhaps get you thinking, here are some "small strengths" I have learned about myself.......

-I make really good Rice Krispie treats. (Seriously, I do. They even earned a chunk of money at a silent auction once.....) They may be simple, easy, traditional, etc but the point is that I CAN make them well. Celebrating this means I can make something that I like, that turns out and that I can then share with those I know and love

-My memory. It does not apply to directions, tests, etc but it does apply to people. I am fortunate to remember details about people-names of their siblings, trips they've been on, favorite foods, etc. This allows to engage in conversations with people about things impt to them, indicates to them that I am interested in their life.

-Playing with children/teaching moments: behavior mgt is NOT my strength as a teacher. But one thing I can do well is have teaching moments with children. During lunch time we can discuss shape, color, texutre, etc of the food. If they are building with blocks, I am able to ask open-ended questions that further more discussion, rather than just "yes" or "no"

What are some strengths you have discovered about yourself????

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Have a Strategy in Place

So.... it's been awhile since I updated this blog. Sorry about that. But it is a new month, with new goals and new energy!

Lately I have learned the impt of having a strategy in place for when life is frustrating, overwhelming, disappointing, etc. Something that when I think to myself, "What am I going to do now to regroup, get through this, etc," I can have an answer!

Obviously each individual needs to find their own but there are some that have worked for me
-a long walk or run
-reading a book that I enjoy, nothing too intense
-spending time with my nieces and nephews
-talking wtih a good friend

I feel the importance is not so much "what" the strategy is but just that it really is "in place" It saves me time and energy from thinking, "What am I going to do now????" when I can act. And the more time I spend utilizing those strategies, the more natural they come and they more successful they are for me.

What strategies have been successful for you in the more challenging times in life??? I would love to hear your ideas!!!