Getting Lost.... and Then Finding My Way

Following geographical directions, getting from point a to point b has long been a challenge for me, dating back to kindergarten. Getting home from school was a 2 minute walk at the most. However, when my older sister forgot to pick me up after school, I would go to the office and call home because I was unable (or too scared) to find my way home on my own. I did eventually make it home from school with ease but as I grew older the geographical expectations increased and my ability to navigate the space around me; did not automatically increase.  

 However, my situation did get better over time!  When I was in college, I discovered websites such as mapquest and google maps and I learned that I could type in a starting point and destination and receive step by step directions for how to get there.  Having printed directions to follow was crucial because if I had to find my way independently for the first time I was more likely to be successful. Not gauranteed, but more likely. Also, I felt great about myself when I could complete the geographical task successfully! However, if I did not idependently find my way, if I was following someone or just riding in the car, my "brain did not learn the way." The next time I had to make that trip, I would remember very little about how to get from point a to point b, even if I had made that trip several times.

I also found more strategies to increase my geographical success.  Though navigation is still not a strength of mine I have found ways to adapt so it does not limit my life. First, whenever I am going somewhere new I try to leave in plenty of time to get there. If I am running late, stress/anxiety tends to disrupt my ability and think logically about how to get from here to there. I also tell people, in good taste, that I have a poor sense of direction. For example, my group of friends that I go out with know that I have a harder time finding my way around. Letting them know that has been helpful because it takes the pressure off me to help navigate and if I give bad directions or something goes wrong we can laugh about it, etc instead of me feeling embarrassed. 

A challenge does not necessarily mean it is a limitation. Remember that.

Questions?  Comments?

Sleeping Success

So, I know that there have been several blog posts about sleep but I assure you it is for a good reason! Sleep is a crucial part of everyday for me. I find that when I don't sleep well I tend to start the day off the wrong foot. I feel tired so I'm slow getting dressed, fixing my hair, and eating breakfast. I tend to get through the day with the goal of "when can I go back to bed???" Thus, I am a fan of anything that helps me sleep better, longer or deeper.

I used to be unable to take a quick nap unless I was in the car (not driving of course!) I would try to take naps at other times but I was rarely successful because anxiety and my internal clock was constantly going in my mind and my dialogue would go something like this, "OK. I have 10-15 minutes to fall asleep. I have to fall asleep by then so I can get a long enough nap, 30-40 minutes. If I get less than that I'll just wake up tired and groggy and I need to be awake later. OK-ready, set, sleep!!!!"

Ultimately, I would not fall asleep and I would be tired and perhaps ornery later. Or I would only take naps when I could "pass out" for a long period of time so I would oversleep and be up late until I felt tired enough to go to bed.

Recently though I discovered that not only could I fall alseep for a short amount of time but I really could feel rested after a quick nap, even under 30 minutes! I still have an internal dialogue going but now it is me saying to myself, "However long you sleep will be enough. You will wake up feeling rested." Makes for much better napping and sleeping!

Rest well! Comments and questions are always welcome!

Importance of Exercise

There are many benefits of exercise, probably to be covered in later blog posts. For now, I want to focus on the importance of exercise as it relates to sleep. With the brain injury, I have never been a great sleeper-whether it's getting enough sleep, falling asleep, sleeping through the night, etc. I have tried so many methods- cool, dark room, herbal tea before bed, quiet hour before bed, sleep aids, etc. Sometimes I have felt like a professional "try to go to sleep-er!" Most methods have worked in one form or another to varying degrees but the most effective method to help me fall asleep quicker and sleep through the night? Exercise: hands down.

Life is crazy and busy and full for everyone but knowing how much exercise affects my sleep keeps me motivated to get regular exercise. I have a treadmill at home and I have a gym membership but due to the full-ness of life sometimes creativity is required to fit in exercise!

I also take public transit (buses or TRAX trains) most everywhere I go which also helps. The TRAX stops are close to home and work but there is a 15 minute wait in between trains so I use that time to pace the platform, get in a 15 minute walk. Sometimes I get strange looks from passengers as I am passing by them for the 5th time but hey, it works! When I have plans in the evening I may not have time for a full work-out but I do have 20-25 minutes to spare so I will get off a trax stop earlier and then get an extra 20 minute walk. Sometimes when I am lacking the motivation for exercise, running on the treadmill while having the tv closed captioned works wonders to help me keep running!

Obviously there are other crucial forms of exercise besides walking/running but these are the easiest for me to fit in on the fly. When I have had a hard workout that day I can "feel" a difference. I don't need such a long routine to "get ready for bed." My body naturally feels tired at the appropriate time. My brain/thinking is calmer instead of spinning in multiple directions. I sleep more soundly instead of wide awake in the middle of the night.

Questions? Comments?

Thoughts about Bumps and Guilt

Guilt is something that comes naturally to me!!! Even as a child, if I misbehaved at school and my teacher didn't catch me..... I would turn myself in to my teacher!!!! As previously mentioned work in recent past has been pure heck. A change in pay, assignment, long commute, new coworkers, etc. While there were moments of, "Next time I'll do this differently....." Much of what led up to the changes was beyond my control.

When things have gone wrong in life, I tend to blame myself first! What I could have done differently, how I could have (supposedly) avoided it, what I did to bring it upon myself, etc. While it has differently gotten better over the years, to some degree it is still there! Recently through various conversations with those close to me, thoughts/pondering, reading, etc, I have learned a few things. Important things.

For example, when trying to reach your goals, pursue your dreams, work hard, etc. There WILL be challenges. BUT it doesn't automatically mean that I am completely at fault, brought it all upon myself, etc. It is part of living life, being human, etc. It could be different if I were content to just "chill" in life, let whatever happens, happen, stay where I'm at, etc. But as hard as the bumps in life can be.... I think life would be MUCH less satisfying and more boring without the bumps! As the saying goes, "You can't have a rose without some thorns!"

These are lessons I hope to remember and apply often in the future.