A couple times in the past month I recieved tactful feedback from good friends of mine about behaviors I was engaging that were not to my advantage..... My behaviors were not being percieved as I thought they were...... I won't go into details here but their feedback was valid!
My first thought? Embarrassment. How could I engage in that kind of behavior? Didn't I know/do better? Would they remember that feedback the next time we went out? I was reminding myself that we ALL make mistakes, have painful learning experiences but at those moments, I couldn't think of any others shortcoming. I only felt my own shortcomings. And I really did feel them! By the way, looking back it was probably not the kindest action to try to think of/remember others mistakes/shortcomings!
However, sooner rather than later I learned some important lessons. Ultimately, I felt glad and relieved to have that feedback. How glad I was to know now so that I didn't have to wait longer to adjust my behaviors, or carry them on longer and continue to be unaware of the message I was sending! I felt grateful to have friends that cared enough to be honest and tactful with me and help me to become better.
I also realized that I couldn't remember moments of being aware of others shortcomings because I simply did not remember! I think I assumed that people remember a lot about those painful moments, that they are just as aware as I am in the moment and will be aware in the future, as well. However, chances are they do not give it another thought once the moment has passed.
Painful but truly important lessons to learn! \
Your feedback is welcome! Questions? Comments?
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