So, the thought occurred to me....

I recently realized that while I alluded to having social challenges, I didn't provide much info about the how and the why. Allow me to do so now...... Please.

In addition to, complementary to, whatever.... a brain injury, at least in my case, is Nonverbal Learning Disorder. Essentially what that means is difficulty learning skills, social and otherwise, unless they are specifically verbally taught. Brain injury disrupts the brain making normal brain connections. A typically developing brain can learn skills and unwritten rules and guidelines, simply by observing situations; however a brain that has disrupted develoment needs more specific teaching.

For example, you call someone, they are in a hurry and don't have much time to talk. They may specifically tell you that but it is more likely that will try to give "cues" such as short, direct answers and comments and/or a more frustrated, rushed tone of voice. Not necessarily rude, just trying to provide feedback that they can't talk for long. Unfortunately, if the person on the other end has had a brain injury, cues won't do the job. They need more specific, yet postive feedback such as, "Now is not a good time for me, when can we talk again?" They need to know that you can't talk now, that you are not mad/upset, you can/will continue the conversation later. (Or at least that has been true in my case.....)

A couple of other examples: unless there is specific teaching an individual with a brain injury is less likely to know what not to say/ask. Knowing when a question is too personal or when there is too much/unecessary information (like a clogged toilet. True story)

Finally, social situations are challenging for somone with a brain injury because there is so much brain negotiation required. For example, a preschooler who is trying to enter a playgroup. The act of choosing a group, making their way over there, deciding what to say/do to enter the playgroup, and how to adjust if their first entrance attempt fails. This can be overwhelming for inviduals aged children to adults!

So, whether you work, know or love someone with a brain injury, remember to do direct, specific, positve teaching and modeling to learn and develop social skills. It's needed and appreciated!