Rigid Rule Follower

I am rigid rule follower! (Though much less rigid then I used to be) One of my family's favorite stories to tell about me is when I came home from school crying in 2nd grade because I had been chewing gum. The teacher had not scolded me, I was crying because she didn't know I was chewing gum! In 6th when I was sliding on the ice (against the rules) and didnt' get caught, I confessed to my teacher after school. I wonder what he was thinking at the time-thank goodness he kept it to himself! And the examples go on........

Why was I "self-confessing?" My system just couldn't take the high levels of guilt. There was also a fear of "getting into trouble." The only way I knew to release it was to confess! Or to avoid getting into trouble. Also, with a brain that has sustained some kind of injury, thinking abstractly is very hard to do! These brains tend to see more in black/white, rules and consequences. It's harder for the brain to negotiate "exceptions" to rules or to judge when guidelines can be/are more flexible.

Though I no longer confess, per se, I am still prone to following rules. My cousin laughs with me about the times when we went hiking or swimming in a hotel pool-someone came to tell us it was time to pack it up, and so I was the first to bolt from the trail to the car or got out of the pool ASAP.

What to do? I don't have a clear answer for this. I am learning as I go along. I am much less rigid than I used to be but it's still hard. Time and experience have been the best teachers-the more I experience, the more I realize the exceptions and flexibility to rules and situations.
But I can say this-when dealing with someone who does have a high level of rigidity, talk through it with them, help them to understand the other points of view, etc. One of the most frustrating things for me as a child (and sometimes as an adult!!!) is to have a concern responded to with "don't worry about it." If time does not permit talking about it then, acknowledge that it is a valid concern. Unfortunately, the brain is not equipped with a switch that when someone says "don't worry about it," the concern disappears. It's a process.