Breaks-An additonal example

To follow-up on the last blog post ("needing and taking breaks") here is additional example. From Christmas 3 or so years ago, events recalled to the best of my ability.... I love this example because I think it illustrates so well the "need" to communicate and the benefits of doing so!

It had been a good Christmas day. It was just me and my parents, my siblings were all with their own families or in-laws. We opened gifts, then took lots of gifts to the family we'd "sponsored" for Christmas. Had fun delivering gifts, visiting with them, and playing with the kids. Then onto Grandpa's house for Mom and Dad to deliver and install the new tv they'd gotten him for Christmas. I think I fell asleep on the floor for a few minutes until my Dad woke me up to ask me if the ice skater on tv was Michelle Kwan. (That part I DO remember)

We headed back home, late afternoon, delivering a few last minute neighbor gifts and I was hoping for some "alone time" to read the new book I'd gotten that morning. So when my Mom got a call that my brother and family were coming over to visit I was a bit disappointed..... I loved spending time with them but it had just been a busy, emotional day and I was done for a while. And in my mind, with people coming over, there were "behavior expectations" Which I didn't think sitting in your room alone aligned with....

I got pretty quiet in the car and somehow it came that it wasn't that I didn't want them to come over, I just needed a break! And once that was out, that was it. My mom understood and I wasn't keeping it inside. I don't think I spent more than 20 minutes or so alone in my room, reading, but I did get a break. And because of the communication there was little if any misunderstanding. My mom knew that I wanted to be alone because I needed a break, not because I was upset, depressed, otherwise distressed. I knew that i had as much time as I needed to regroup without having to "hurry" and rejoin the gathering.