Unhealthy Friendships

Friendships are, I believe, a crucial part of life, well-being, etc. However, forming healthy, lasting relationships can also be easier said than done! For me, at least in the beginning, friendship requires concious thought, rethinking and relearning. Due to the brain injury, it can be harder to read social cues, have social anxiety, etc creates challenges in forming friendships. BUT..... While I'm no expert, I have learned a few things along the way and I would like to share them with you. Perhaps, they will be of use to you, as well!!!!

First, I had a lot to learn about what defines a healthy/unhealthy relationship. Because I struggled making friends for so many years, I came to believe that anyone who was willing to be my friend, was a good friend. After all, who knew if/when another friend would come along? As a result, I would let myself be used by peers, get myself into an unhealthy relationship.

Learning as I went along, I began to discover red flags of an unhealthy relationship. Red Flag #1: friend wants you to do everything with them, on their schedule. Example: I had been thinking about joining a gym for fun, but money was tight. My friend, who admitted, she was overweight, also wanted to join a gym. She offered to pay my gym fees for me, but on one condition, that "whenever I go to the gym, you have to go with me." Um, no thanks.

How to get out of this red flag? Trust Yourself. And your instincts. Because I had treated myself as if I needed anyone to be a friend, those close to me had learned to see me that way as well. So, when I did voice my concerns to others, they saw it as her "being a good friend." But in my gut, I knew something wasn't quite right and so in time that led me to end the relationship.

Your thoughts or experiences are welcome!!!!

Next blog: more friendship red flags and resolutions.... stay tuned!!!