As mentioned in a previous post, I tend to have guilt involving other people and their feelings. Working on kicking that habit! Anyway....
For example, when someone close to me, a good friend, roommate, sibling, etc. is out of sorts, seems upset around me, etc. my thoughts tend to jump to what I did/could have done to upset that individual. What do I ned to change?
However, my sister taught me an impt lesson regarding this type of scenario. It's not all about me! When my focus is on "what did I do, how did I affect the other person," I'm not necessarily concerned about them or trying to help them. I'm trying to make sure I stay on their "good side" Recently, I had an experience where things seemed out of sorts with someone close to me. Out of the blue, unusual kind of behavior for this friend. Trying to heed my sister's advice, I laid low, just let things pass and within 48 hrs things were back to normal!
So,when having anxiety about relationships remember this, "It's not all about you!" Remembering this has certainly worked for me!
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That's good advice! I think I felt something similar (though in reverse) last night. I was among my peers and I not feeling very happy/social. After leaving, I felt bad that I hadn't been more kind and talkative with people. I wasn't feeling bad for myself, necessarily, I was feeling bad that they didn't get to see me at my peak. Like, I may have even caused their evening to be a little less fun.
ReplyDeleteBut, this post helps me to understand that the world doesn't revolve around me. If I have an off day, it's okay. Sure, I might have lost opportunities for great conversation and bonding, but the others around me have control over their own feelings.
I guess I tend to think I have a greater impact on people than I really do... or should, anyway.